In an exercise to get the creative juices flowing I have just written a silly short story involving 5 elements as suggested by some Twitter friends. The 5 things I've included were : A presidential State of the Union address, sheepdogs, blind artists, 5-HT receptors, and time travel. Special thanks to @_finn, @djbarbie and @s0up for their contribution. This story was written over a couple of hours spent in Bridgehead coffee shop. I apologize for likely errors in spelling, grammar, and general coherence.
President Obama's State of the Union Address - remarks as prepared for delivery. The State of the Union takes place at an undisclosed location somewhere in the United States of America on Jan. 25, 2018 at 9:00 p.m. ET.
A sober yet pristine figure approaches the podium. There is very little audience in the plain, nondescript concrete room the president has entered. Video cameras roll broadcasting live worldwide. Obama looks exhausted and ill, but otherwise well-groomed. Wherever the president has been hidden, he has managed to snag his best suits for these situations.
“Tonight’s state of the union address will be an unusual one as our nation’s current circumstances require. This may be my last state of the union address as the end of my second and last term as President of the United States of America nears. However, I will not waste time this evening with eloquence and rhetoric but be as straightforward as possible to get these very important facts to all of the citizens of this great country.”
The president sighs heavily and takes a copious sip of his ice-water.
“As many of you are aware our nation’s safety has been threatened. I have been forced to do the unprecedented and initiate a military state. From the information our military intelligence experts have been able to obtain, our entire nation faces the imminent threat of attack from what appears to be visitors from elsewhere in the universe. Nation to put it plainly, we are facing alien invasion. Currently three fleets of approximately 250 foreign aircrafts have been spotted approaching our atmosphere, positioned at various locations over the United States. At this time satellite images place the unidentified flying objects at locations proportionate to the population of the area, at a distance of 200-500 miles above earth. Our military experts are working closely with intelligence of all kinds worldwide to identify the origin of these crafts, the personnel on board the crafts, and why they are focused only over the United States."
Taking a second deep sip of water, the president momentarily closes his eyes, betraying how weary he is. He sets down his water gingerly and scans the room from camera to camera, as if the entire international audience were in the room with him. He focuses on the central camera with an intense, penetrating gaze.
“Before I continue with the facts of this dire situation I must command the nation to comply with all of the following instructions for your own personal safety and that of their fellow citizens. This nation has never been faced with an invasion of this nature. Every precaution for the preservation of lives must be made as we are unaware of the nature, intentions and danger that the visitors may present to us. Therefore I have placed the military, police authorities and state officials in charge of securing essential national facilities and preparing resources in the event of a necessary nationwide evacuation. Your cooperation with all US authorities, police, military, etc. is not optional.”
For emphasis President Obama slams a fist down onto the podium. He appears agitated and a bit frightened but maintains an air of great authority.
“Immediate and total compliance is mandatory. Officials have been given presidential decree to use force if necessary to ensure total cooperation occurs. This is not a time to debate or demand civil rights or the rights afforded in the constitution. This is the nation facing the possibility of total annihilation.”
His voice wavers ever so slightly. “We can no longer afford such luxuries.”
President Obama takes a short pause to let his words sink into the consciousness of the public.
“As I previously mentioned United States intelligence is working closely and urgently with many intelligence groups worldwide. At this time I would like to introduce the director of a previously classified group in Russian intelligence. These individuals have generously agreed to come forward and reveal themselves in an effort to give us some understanding of the visitors we are faced with. Director Korishnikov, of the Time Travelling Alliance of Russia.”
A short, bald man in a crisp Armani suit with an inexplicable Hitler-style mustache enters the stage and approaches the podium. President Obama shakes his hand firmly and retreats to the rear right of the stage. Director Korishnikov proceeds to speak in blunt, accented English.
“It may come as some surprise to the people of the western world that in the past several decades time travelling has become no longer fantasy fodder, but a reality. I am the director of an elite group of such travellers specializing in gaining intelligence on government activity in unstable nations, neighbouring dimensions, and even other planets. Our alliance includes fifteen registered travellers. Our highly irregular 5-HT receptors allow us to travel through time and space in a way that no other humans in the history of the world have previously experienced. This unique genetic trait has only been found in the fifteen of us that have come forward in the great nation of Russia. Scientists believe it is an extraordinary leap in human evolution. This will be shocking news indeed for most of the world, but the classified nature of our organization has been necessary for our protection as well as the protection of the Russian people. We ask that you take this information at face value and with no further explanation at this time as there is no time to do so in this urgent state.”
Director Korishnikov flared his nostrils slightly in an apparent challenge to his viewers. Obviously not a man to be trifled with, Korishnikov made a great facial effort to convey his seriousness and authority. Bugging out his eyes in a stare more bizarre than actually fearsome, he continued his speech.
“Time travel is not a linear science but one where visitors experience the past and the future in this dimension as well as countless parallels. As such it is uncertain which future is set to occur. However we have seen visitors like the ones threatening your country on several occasions of travel and I will tell you what we know about the nature of such beings. To begin, the spacecraft that have been spotted appear to be similar to the Слепой художникA fleets from the planet we call Слепой художник. You must understand that as time travellers we have had the opportunity to study them in limited detail. Due to the nature of time travel we have been unable to bring back a specimen to study more intricately as transferring objects in time seems to be impossible. Furthermore studying them on their home planet has been difficult as it is extremely dangerous for the travellers and we must always remain undetected on our journeys.
The beings from planet Слепой художник resemble humans in body shape, appendages, approximate size and temperature. They are remarkably biologically and genetically similar to us. However they are only semi-intelligent, ignorant, foolhardy and flatulent with a staggering sense of entitlement. In these ways they resemble Americans. This could be why they have chosen to stage their attack – and we do believe they will attack – over America and America only. After remote study of these beings we have reason to believe they are interested in Earth and have chosen to eliminate the US as an appetizer for the eventual takeover of Planet Earth. They have no fear of us. Unlike Americans they have used time travel to obtain the technology and intelligence to create crafts far advanced to earth vehicles. They have highly advanced weapons and therefore it is likely they will take down your defences and those of the world’s arsenals in a matter of two to three days maximum. It is the opinion of the Time Travelling Alliance of Russia that if we do not somehow destroy these cretins of outer-spacial-orientation the destruction of not only America, but the entire world will soon occur. The Слепой художник are not free of weakness. They have the disadvantage of the complete lack of sight. The Слепой художник do no ‘see’ visually the way the humans of Planet Earth do but seem to have developed a very sophisticated sense of their surroundings from other means. They do not ‘see’ as we do and as such may be deemed blind. But they have other ways of ‘seeing’.”
President Obama could be seen to visibly reel at this information and Korishnikov’s piecey explanations.
“For example, the Слепой художникs seem to have an affinity for visual art, and it is prevalent on their planet. We do not fully understand this as they have no eye-like organs and seem to experience the art telekinetically. On Planet Слепой художник artists are highly revered and have elevated statuses in society. They use a canine-like species characteristic of American sheep dogs for ease of mobility but this seems to be highly recreational.”
Director Korishnikov took a moment to stare down the cameras and clear his throat before concluding.
“As the ‘world police’ you have been chosen, America, as the staging point for our annihilation. We have no choice but to work together in this matter.”
Director Korishnikov turns and shakes hands once again with a blank-looking President Obama and exits the stage. The camera focuses once more on the nation’s president.
“Nation, we must do everything in our power to retain the structure of our society, culture and nation in the face of this great emergency. Be with you loved ones, obey authority and if you are a time traveller and have any information on the imminent attacks please contact US officials. My gratitude to Director Korishnikov for his staggering information. At this time I will bid you goodnight, my fellow Americans, and may god have mercy on this great nation.”
